the finally footnoteless [footnote 1] feature
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
which just happens to be this Saturday, August 12th
The Contest Issue
WHAT’S on the MENU CONTEST
Since the mid-50’s, Stinky News has sponsored the “What’s on the Menu?” Contest, and this year is no different except for some major changes.
Here’s how it works:
In the following list, there are items that are on The Great Scape Cafe menu and things that are NOT on the menu. If you can decipher this riddle, then take your list of the things that are NOT on the menu with you to the festival to receive your fabulous prize.
Here’s how to collect your fabulous prize:
Find either Jerry Ford at the Living Song Garlic booth or Chris Kudrna at the Plum Creek Garlic booth. Then say the numbers of the menu items that are NOT being served by The Great Scape, followed by these code words: “What do we appreciate? Gar-lic! Gar-lic! Gar-lic!”, and you will receive a fabulous prize.
Here’s the list of items that may or may NOT be on The Great Scape menu:
1) Cole Slaw and Garlic Dill Pickles from Rosewood Eatery & Market
2) Fricasseed Funistrada Flounder Fillets
3) Potato Salad from Phillip Becht/Fabulous Catering
4) Fried Fricandeau with Freak Flag Foods Frittatas
5) Tortilla Chip and Salsa from The Birchwood Cafe
6) Fagioli Florentine festooned with French Fries and Frankfurters
7) Chef Shack Burger
8) Flambéing Flan with Faki Falafel Fondue featuring Frikadeller and Fudge
9) Roasted Garlic, of course, with Baguette
Give it your best shot.
GARLIC GROWERS CONTEST
If you grow garlic, or you can swipe some from your neighbor’s garden, you can enter the Garlic Growers Contest. See the instructions here.
It used to be true that only the Professional Garlic Growers won this contest, but in the last few years home gardeners have been taking top prizes.
Enter to win fabulous prizes.
LAST CHANCE for TWINE BALL CONTEST
If you haven’t already sent in your twine ball to the Twine Ball Contest, you can take it to the Twine Ball Days in Darwin, MN, which is on the same day as the Garlic Festival. Just drop it off with one of the festival staff (“Ballers”) and say, “Here’s my ball and entry form, now I’ve got to get down to the Garlic Festival, so you can just mail me my fabulous prize.”
They love it when people do that.
Get the entry form here:
To find out more fake news about the Twine Ball Festival, go to:
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Saturday, August 12, 2017
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
McLeod County Fairgrounds, Hutchinson, 840 Century Ave SW, Hutchinson
A Rain or Shine All-Weather Event
No Pets, Please
A production of the Crow River Chapter, Sustainable Farming Association