The Ultimately Untimely Newsletter of MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
- FESTIVAL CHEF WRANGLER TWO-TIMING
- THE NEW GARLIC PATHOGENS: WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
- THE STINKY INDEX
- SERBIAN GARLIC SALES SOAR WITH VAMPIRE THREAT
FESTIVAL CHEF WRANGLER TWO-TIMING
Garlic Festival Chef Wrangler, Mary Jane Miller, whose titles also include “Maven of Mmmmm,” “Vicar of Viands,” and the recently bestowed “Purveyor of Provender,” is taking her show on the road two times in the next two months.
First, you can catch her two culinary workshops on “Freezing & Pickling” and “Cooking with your CSA” at the Crow River Annual Meeting on January 5th. Held in the capacious kitchen at Gale Woods Farm, “Freezing and Pickling” will give you everything you need to know to make pickles outdoors in January (that’s the freezing part), and the second workshop shows you creative things to do with all that fantastic fare foisted on you by your CSA* farmer.
Then she’s really two-timing in February, presenting a day-long series of culinary workshops at the SFA** Annual Conference, held at the MN Landscape Arboretum on February 15 & 16. Garlic Festival is a Sponsoring Organization*** of this conference, and Mary Jane’s Culinary Workshops are on Saturday the 16th. Not only can you take in sessions like “Let’s Go Nuts,” “If It Quacks Like a Duck,” “Hope Butter” and “Getting Pickled,” but you also get to attend the Keynote Address by Michael Ableman, a complimentary lunch with choices for vegetarians and creodontal descendants, and admission to the end-of-the-day social event, cleverly named “The Afterglow” by MLA**** event planners.
THE NEW GARLIC PATHOGENS: WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
At the Sustainable Farming Association Annual Conference in February, you can hear the very latest from scientists and pathologists about the double whammy of diseases that, according to festival director and recovering Texan*****, Jerry Ford, “whupped Minnesota’s garlic crop upside duh head” this season. We were preparing for the really nasty bug, Garlic Bloat Nematode, that has devastated garlic fields in other states, and we implemented a testing system for growers in collaboration with the MN Plant Disease Clinic. Then, starting in June, it became obvious to many growers that something else was wrong. By the time we were harvesting in July, many farmers had little left to pick. Dimitre Mollov, a scientist at the Plant Disease Clinic, took on the challenge of finding the culprit, and deserves the credit for discovering the first recorded incidence of Aster Yellows Phytoplasma in garlic in the U.S.
And the other thing the experts tell us is that MINNESOTA GARLIC IS SAFE TO EAT! Which is good because a whole lot of us have been eating a whole lot of it, and it hasn’t “whupped anyone updside duh head.”
Want to know more? Got questions? Come to the SFA Annual Conference and join us on Saturday, February 16, for this session on the new garlic diseases.
THE STINKY INDEX
(with homage to The Harper’s Index)
- Official attendance at the 7th Annual MN Garlic Festival: 3,700
- Number of Vendors: 81
- Garlic Vendors: 14
- Kites flown: 100
- Number of Promenade Grand Marshals who were over the age of 86 and still farming: 3
- Collective age of the Grand Marshals: 274
- Volunteers: 90
- Coordinators: 26
- Sponsors: 23
- Vampires: 0
- 2-for-1 Ticket Coupons redeemed: 952
- Percentage of people arriving at the front gate without the 2-for-1 Ticket Coupon they left under that refrigerator magnet: 4.5
- Length of the poem about garlic read by Hutchinson Mayor Steve Cook in the Opening Ceremony: 2 minutes, 13 seconds
- Number of dresses in the Eco-Fashion Frenzy Upcycle Fashion Show made from discarded garden hose and vegetable row covers: 1
- Percentage of participants who went home smelling quite different: 100
SERBIAN GARLIC SALES SOAR WITH VAMPIRE THREAT
This article was submitted by our Vendor Coordinator Emeritus, Theresa Heiland, to the Stuff-U-Can’t-Make-Up Department, affectionally know as SUCMUD here at Stinky News World Headquarters:
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Saturday, August 10, 2013
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
McLeod County Fairgrounds, Hutchinson
* For the uninitiated, “CSA” stands for “Community Supported Agriculture” if you’re interested in healthy local food; but if you want to know about getting old, it’s something else.
** For the uninitiated, “SFA” stands for “Sustainable Farming Association” if you’re interested in healthy local food; but if you want to know about insidious incarnate evil, it’s something else.
*** “Sponsoring Organization” means the MLA**** puts the festival’s name on their website, and in exchange we try to convince you to go to the conference, which we just did.
**** For the uninitiated, “MLA” stands for “Minnesota Landscape Arboretum” if you’re interested in haute horticulture; but if you want to know about an organization that repeatedly ignores Stinky News writers, it’s something else.
***** From the Harper’s Index:
– Number of signatures a petition posted on whitehouse.gov must obtain within thirty days to “require a response” : 25,000
– Number a petition calling for Texas to secede from the Union obtained within a week of being posted last November : 100,000