The Stinky News – Yuletide Edition 2013

The Occasionally Sporadic Newsletter of MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Yuletide Edition

Headlines:


WHEN GARLIC PEOPLE GET BORED

The garlic has been planted and all the big parade floats from the Garlic Festival have been stored, and frankly, we’re bored, and we’ve still got all this grant money to spend.

So, let’s have another one of those STINKY NEWS CONTESTS, and maybe this time someone will enter!

Announcing
The 1st Annual Garlic Haiku Smackdown!!!
Write a haiku – win fabulous prizes!

We asked our staff solicitor, Tony Toepfer*, to write up a set of rules so that might not get us sued, and here they are:

Write a haiku poem,
5/7/5 syllables:
garlic and nature.

Terms and Conditions
Of the Very First Stinky
News Haiku Contest:

All submitters may
Enter often as they please
Until we get bored.

No prize shall be won,
As no prize may travel from
Out this mortal realm;

You should need no prize –
The glory of stinky news
Is the best prize yet.

However, we guess
If you really want a prize
You could read your poem:

You or your chosen
May recite your submission
On the Fashion Stage

So we don’t seem rude
The winner will also get
festival tickets.

Four tickets shall be
In your hand, guaranteed, for
garlic festivities.

Also, all the rights
to any submitted works
are totally ours.

Coincidental with all this, we received a Christmas present of 10 pro-bono hours of legal advice from the firm of Mayer, Daisby, Merry & Bright.  Ten hours, and this is what they came up with:
“Regarding the rules written by Tony Toepfer for the Haiku Smackdown: stanza nine is not a haiku.  The phrase “garlic festivities” has six syllables.

To which Tony Toepfer, our solicitor, replied, “So sue me.”

Send your haikus to:
Jerry Ford, Stinky News Interim Poetry Editor (SNIPE), jerry@sfa-mn.org

Deadline: December 25th, 2013.

RECAP of the EIGHTH ANNUAL FESTIVAL

Here’s a nice montage of photos from this past festival:
http://livingsongfarm.com/garlic-fest-montage/.

PRECAP of the NINTH ANNUAL FESTIVAL

We’re going to do it all again.  August 9th, 2014.  Same location.  See if we don’t.

Oh yeah – we’re adding a Bocce League.  More details will come after we figure what a bocce league is, but The Stinky News staff have already fielded a team, and intend to practice sometime before August. So, get your civic group, farmhands, non-profit organization, or coven together and let Amelia Neaton, ameliacscott@gmail.com, know that you’ve got game.

OTHER COOL WAYS to RELIEVE BOREDOM

A whole series of sustainable farming events are coming up:

Local Foods – the Next Step,” Crow River Chapter Annual Meeting, Saturday, January 4th, Gale Woods Farm.

Back to Our Roots,” Sustainable Farming Association Annual Conference, February 8th, College of St. Benedict, St. Joseph, MN

Midwest Soil Health Summit, Arrowwood Resort, Alexandria, MN

Download the Official Garlic Festival Recipes from 2013 and make all of them.  Repeatedly.


9th Annual
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Saturday, August 9, 2014
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
McLeod County Fairgrounds, Hutchinson
www.mngarlicfest.com

———————-
Tony really is a lawyer, or maybe he’s an advocate, attorney, attorney at law, barrister, counsel, counselor, juris doctor (JD), legal advisor, or perhaps a legal practitioner, legal representative, member of the bar, or officer of the court;  but we think “solicitor” sounds hipper.