The Quasi-Ineluctable Newsletter of Minnesota Garlic Festival
- VAMPIRES vs. LYCANTHROPES
- FORMER DRIPS UNDER PRESSURE
- CHEF TEASER
- MOST WANTED GARLIC GROWERS LIST
- GET SOMETHING FOR SOMETHING OR SOMETHING LIKE IT
You can read past issues of The Stinky News at the festival website, www.mngarlicfest.com; just look for the links on the left side of the page.
VAMPIRES vs. LYCANTHROPES
This dialogue actually appeared on Facebook*, the only source of information more inconsistently reliable than Wikipedia:
“MN has a Garlic Festival. I want to go.”
“Don’t…It’s just a political rally filled with (a) bunch of Neo-lycanthropes spewing anti-vampire rhetoric”.
FORMER DRIPS UNDER PRESSURE**
We like to say that Garlic Fest “tricks people into learning about sustainability,” and one of the more blatant tactics is the “ASK THE EXPERT” Stage. Throughout the day, experts on everything from medicinal herbs to homegrown honey to extending the growing season to, of course, the uses and culture of the King of Herbs (garlic) will wax prolix with the particular punctilios of these subjects. The grand finale is a panel discussion by two of Minnesota’s most pre-elegant*** authorities on garlic, Dr. Carl Rosen and the Grandpappy of MN Garlic, Joel Girardin.
“ASK THE EXPERT” is a production of McLeod County Extension Service, directed this year by their very capable intern, Karen Anderson.
We’ll do the much-anticipated epicurean issue of Stinky News next month, but, for both of you who are paying attention, here’s a preview of just some of the cooking demo’s on The Wedge Co-op Local Foods/Local Arts Stage:
11:00 a.m.: Lori Valenziano of Lucia’s Wine Bar and Restautant
1:00 p.m.: Raghavan Iyer, cookbook author and teacher
2:00 p.m.: Joe Hatch-Surisook of Sen Yai Sen Lek
3:00 p.m.: Marshall Paulsen, Birchwood Cafe
5:00 p.m.: Mary Jane Miller, TV Chef and Garlic Festival Chef Wrangler
MOST WANTED GARLIC GROWERS LIST
Here are the garlic growers at this year’s festival, several of whom have been with us since we started back in the mid-sixties****:
Girardin Gourmet Gardens
Hawk’s Brain Garlic
Prairie Coteau Farm
Seven Story Farm
Sogn Valley Orchard
Sun Fresh Foods
Swede Lake Farms
Boor’s Garden and Crafts
GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING OR SOMETHING LIKE IT
A Special Secret Deal for Stinky News Readers only!***** You can download a highly valuable 2-for-1 ticket coupon at the hidden link on the festival website; but you must first decode the following instructions and follow the following instructions that follow precisely as written:
1) Go to the festival website: www.mngarlicfest.com;
2) Click on the link on the left, “Printable 2-for-1 Ticket Coupon”;
3) Put the lime in the coconut, mix it all together;
4) Send the link you all your friends;
5) Print the coupon;
6) Bring it with your busload, caravan or dirigible full of your closest friends to the festival and show it to the nice people at the front gate.
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
ALL WEATHER EVENT
(WE CAN MOVE THE WHOLE THING INDOORS, WHICH COULD BE PRETTY DARN USEFUL THIS YEAR)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
McLeod County Fairgrounds in Hutchinson
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Sustainable Farming Association of MN
* Even though it sounds just like something we’d make up.
** It’s an old joke: How do you define “expert”: “ex” = former; “spurt” = a drip under under pressure.
*** Maybe that’s not the right word, but it certainly scans well.
**** Degrees, not decade.
***** And everybody else.