Missive of MINNESOTA’S GARLIC FESTIVAL
January 2014 Edition
- 2014 Haiku Contest Winners
- Famous Garlic Haiku Writers of the Past
- And Now for Something Completely Different
2014 Haiku Contest Winners
From the thousands of entries we should have received for the Garlic Haiku Contest, we have picked the dozen or so winners. After you read all of them*, the next article has some of the winners from past years, which includes a spiffy one from Abraham Lincoln.
In no particular order, except that the best ones come last, here are the winners:
In the category of “Most Gratuitous Inclusion of an Vampire,” the winner is Jane Jewett with:
In the “Vice and Vices” category the winners are:
And Adam Wilke:
In the “Not At All Clear on the Concept” category, the winner is once again Adam Wilke (we think this was supposed to be a limerick, but was obviously written as Mr. Wilke conducted research on the previous haiku):
The “In Support of Superstition” category winner is Zoe Eckblad:
Sharing the spotlight in the “Au Natural” category are:
And Jennifer Ronnenberg:
In the “Attitude” category, Selket Jewett wins with:
And the “Best Stinking Haiku”, because it’s tactile and sensual and we like that kind of stuff here at Stinky News, is
by Jennifer Ronnenberg:
Mariénne Kreitlow wins the purely honorary Conjugal Conjugation prize with:
All of these winners will receive the aforementioned prize of free admission to the festival on August 9th, and the opportunity to read their work during the Rogue Runway Fashion Show – IF they contact the Stinky News Prize Confirmation Department at email@example.com by July 15th, 2014, and confirm that they are coming.
Famous Garlic Haiku Writers of the Past
The Old Testament, Book of Numbers, 16:3:
We have also invited these writers to participate in the 2014 festival – IF they contact the Stinky News Prize Confirmation Department at firstname.lastname@example.org by July 15th, 2014.
And Now for Something Completely Different
MN Garlic festival is seeking a Volunteer Coordinator**.
– Great organization skills;
– proficient in spreadsheets and Google docs;
– available for the day of the festival (August 9th, 2014), otherwise works from home;
– starts May, 2014.
– This is a volunteer position;
– works with a team of 25-30 dedicated festival organizers;
– perks include the complimentary Festival Coordinators Party in May.
Please contact Festival Director, Jerry Ford, 763-244-6659, email@example.com.
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Saturday, August 9, 2014
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
McLeod County Fairgrounds, Hutchinson
All Weather Event
*One of the nicest things about haikus is that they take about 2.3 seconds to read, as opposed to a poem like The Iliad, which takes about 2.3 lifetimes to read.
Addendum: Did you notice that the top three lines of this issue are a haiku, too?