The Euphonious and Discursive Newsletter of MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
- GARLIC IN FASHION
- FUNISTRADA BOONDOGGLE
- A SHORT HISTORY OF COOKBOOKS
- FOLLOW-UP TO “THE BIGGEST THING EVER” ARTICLE
GARLIC IN FASHION
This year’s festival will present not one but two fashion events!
The “Eco Fashion Frenzy Upcycle Fashion Show” returns this year to the Argibition Stage, featuring the fabrications of the fabulous Fiber and Fabric Guild of Hutchinson, under the direction of local artist, Careen Pierson.
And we are pleased to announce that we have booked the timeless and critically-declaimed “Rogue Runway Show,” with its cast of haute coiffure cuties in such acts as “50 Ways to Trash Your Volunteer Staff T-shirt,” “Men in Skirts,” “The Latest in Goat Milking Apparel” and “Seduced by Dr. Suess.”
Both shows will run alternating performances throughout the day on the Argribition Stage, which is, appropriately, in the same space as the MN Wine and Craft Beer, Kite Making and Garlic Growing Contest, not to mention cattle judging during the McLeod County Fair.
In the meantime, we give you an exercise in oxymoronity: an Iowa Fashion Show.
When Garlic Festival management announced the Funistrada Recipe Contest, they were confident of an overwhelming response, based on the market research they’d neglected to do. Now they find themselves flummoxed by the resounding lack of entries, and a bit embarrassed. So confident were they of an noisome* response that they hired a team of crack recipe testers** who now report to work each day with little to do. They have “tested” the single contest entry, Funistrada Hogshead Sausage**** by Chris Kudrna, no less than 50 times, much to the chagrin of the local porcine population.
So, let’s help the festival resolve this paucity of pestos, this insouciance of sauces, this deplorable dearth of delicacies and deficit of delectables.
Enter the Funistrada Recipe Contest today, and save a pig!
A SHORT HISTORY OF COOKBOOKS
Speaking of recipes, consider for a moment the evolution of the American cookbook. According to Bill Bryson*****, the first to appear on this continent in 1742 was “American Cookery, or the Art of Dressing Viands, Fish, Poultry and Vegetables, and the Best Modes of Making Pates, Puffs, Pies, Tarts, Puddings, Custards and Preserves and All Kinds of Cakes, from the Imperial Plum to Plain Cake, Adapted to the Country and All Grades of Life, by Amelia Simmons: An American Orphan”* This delightful tome includes such recipes as “A Sickbed Custard,” “To Dress a Turtle,” “Tongue Pie” and “A Whipt Syllabub.”
If we move forward in time and more local in location, “100 Years of Good Cooking: Minnesota Centennial Cookbook” has a recipe from every county in the state. The one from Wright County is a bit of a paradox: after extolling the beauty of the “important resort centers” of Annandale and Buffalo Lakes, and listing the resident fish as “pike, bass, sunfish and crappie,” we are then, incongruously, treated to a recipe for shrimp casserole. Perhaps not by accident, all the other counties give credit to the recipe’s author – Mrs O.P. Bakken of Aitken, Mrs. Ona Sorenson of Bagley, Mrs. Kay Wammer of Baudette, and so on – but no cook took credit for Wright County’s shrimp cocktail recipe, or even the accompanying instructions for bread pudding (“Serve with any drained fruit or hard sauce”).
In an elegant resolution to this oversight – this slight to Wright County – we give you Mary Jane Miller, who is not only from Buffalo, but is willing to take blame credit for authoring the latest great Minnesota culinary compendium, “The Official Garlic Festival Cookbook,” which you may purchase at the website.
FOLLOW-UP TO “THE BIGGEST THING EVER” ARTICLE
As part of our forgiveness-is-easier-than-permission policy, prior to publishing last month’s article, “The Biggest Thing Ever,” we sent a copy for approval to our astronomical consultant, Elton Witt; and then we waited about 10 minutes for him to reply. When he did not, we went to press with it. (Mr. Witt is a rocket scientist – really – or aerospace engineer to be more exact, who has built doodads for the International Space Station. He’s also a singer/songwriter – aren’t they all? – and you can check out his latest album at www.innerstateone.com). Anyway, he finally responded a month later by referring us to a website with a video of an astronaut****** showing what happens when you wring out a wet washcloth in space: http://www.hngn.com/articles/2015/20130418/fun-experiment-astronaut-wrings-out-washcloth-space-watch-what-happens.htm
MINNESOTA GARLIC FESTIVAL
Saturday, August 10, 2013
10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
McLeod County Fairgrounds, Hutchinson
$5 adults, $3 kids, free babies, $1 parking
* This probably isn’t the word we meant, but still somehow appropriate.
** No, that doesn’t mean people who test crack recipes, but rather that they are expert, skillful, formidable, virtuosic, masterly, consummate, excellent, first-rate, first-class, outstanding, superlative, and pretty darn good at whatever it is that recipe testers do.
***** From “Made in America” by Bill Bryson. There’s no one quite like Bryson as a source of factoids that you can mercilessly inflict on your soon-to-be former friends.
****** The same Canadian astronaut appears in this gorgeous video, singing with the band, Bare Naked Ladies, thus proving our point that most spacey people are singer/songwriters.
**** Here’s Mr. Kudrna’s funistrada entry – a recipe by his mother, Ann M. Kudrna.
Jitrnice Sausage, a Czech or Bohemian sausage
(Jitrnice is pronounce ‘eterneatsee’ if that helps anyone)
1 – pig’s head
1/2 – pork liver
1 – heart
Add to cook about a 4lb. pork roast—do not overcook meat
Save cooking juice–about 2 cups of broth
1 pkg barley per head
Salt and pepper to taste, not to use iodized salt.
Garlic cloves to taste
Cook everything separate.
Scrape pigs head including brushing teeth and mouth using the traditional funistrada method.
Use broth only from pork roast — add lots of salt — use broth for flavoring. All other juice throw away.
If you put into casings you put the sausage into boiling water for about a minute to set.